There are always exceptions to rules. As much as most car enthusiasts hate massive SUVs, it’s actually quite hard to hate something like the BMW X5 M Competition. Sure, I’d never buy one, even if I could afford it. There are just other cars I’d prefer to own for the same money. Having said that, there’s something surprisingly tantalizing about an SUV that can haul children and luggage around at triple-digit speeds (though I don’t actually recommend doing that). In this new video from Joe Achilles, we get to see the BMW X5 M Competition and why it’s so desirable, despite being objectively ridiculous.
Even though the X5 M Comp weighs about as much as a small cargo ship, it’s still incredibly fast. Nothing that weighs as much, nor rides as high, should be capable of the sort of acceleration that the X5 M is. Achilles strapped a race box to it to test the car’s 0-62 mph (100 km/h) time and his fastest run netted a 3.60-second time. That’s absurd in a car that weighs on the wrong side of two tons.
More than that, the BMW X5 M Competition is comfortable enough, has a wonderful interior, loads of practicality and handling that’d challenge a hot-hatch on a winding road. There’s nothing on the road that the X5 M does poorly, objectively speaking. Of course, it’s numb and lacks real engagement; as impressive as it is, it’s all electronics that make it so. Though I’m not sure that matters. The X5 M is supposed to be two cars in one; high-end performance car and luxury SUV. So its compromise is about as close as you’ll get to having your cake and eating it.
There are of course some drawbacks. For starters, it’s obscenely expensive. At over six-figures in any market, the BMW X5 M Competition is just too expensive. Sure, you get a lot of car for the money but for the price of one X5 M Comp, you can get a BMW X3 for the family run and a BMW M4 for your performance and both will be better at their respective jobs than the X5 M Comp. It’s also a bit stiff and it’s quite thirsty at the pump.
Those are minor quibbles, though, and despite the complete lack of any realistic need for such a vehicle, the BMW X5 M Competition is a surprisingly endearing car. It’s not for everyone but it’s hard to deny its superfluous charm.