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I’m not a poser, I just fake a lot

Featured Posts, Interesting | September 13th, 2011 by 79
poser2

It’s high time we take a light-hearted look at the world of posers, who hope to impress but usually end up disappointing on so many …

It’s high time we take a light-hearted look at the world of posers, who hope to impress but usually end up disappointing on so many levels.

How many of you have been walking or driving along, minding your own business when all of a sudden, your car radar goes off and your “spider sense” tingles? You know, that feeling that something special might be close? It’s quite interesting and difficult to explain with words, but if you are a car person, then you know exactly what I’m talking about.

I’m not a poser, I just fake a lot

How many of you, at least at first glance, have been duped into believing that the e39 528i in front of you that sports replica M5 wheels and has an M badge is a poser and not a real M5? How about an E320 masked to look like an E55 AMG? An A6 with an RS badge on the back perhaps? German cars aren’t the only ones butchered either. We see normal Integra’s badged as Type-R’s and standard Lancer’s made to look like Evolutions and in the States I even saw a regular Ford Taurus with a SHO badge! But one cannot speak of faux cars and not mention the famous Pontiac Fiero bodykit that made it look like a Ferrari. Almost.

Now, if you’re like me, you get irked a bit followed immediately by this thought “you’re not fooling me.” It is at this point that most people stop and continue about their business. But what about the percentage of people, myself included, that actually take it a step further and have the urge to see the guy/gal that would try to pull off such a masquerade and perhaps, just perhaps, just maybe, yell out “poser!” and then drive/walk away feeling like you did the right thing and that somehow, somewhere, a “1UP” should be recorded next to your name in the sacred records of Automobilus Justificus. Anyone else out there?

I’m not a poser, I just fake a lot

The following is a true story and aims to point out yet another type of driver. I have yet to classify such a driver, so if you are feeling creative, please feel free to provide some ideas in the comments below. Now, the story.

The year was 2007 and it was a hot July afternoon. I was in Romania on a road trip with my wife and three other good friends who decided to tag along. As the driver, I had at my disposal a silver, four-door Ford Focus…which was rented. It wasn’t fast, but it did the job well and I was happy it was a manual and packed A/C. At one point in our trip, we stopped for fuel in the south-western city of Timisoara. This is where our story gets interesting.

While there, I fueled the Focus and then parked it in order to pay a visit to the mini market and purchase some treats as well as refreshments for the road. Walking towards the shop, I spotted a yellow Lamborghini Gallardo. I was 100% sure it was a Lamborghini Gallardo just as I am 100% sure that water is wet, pancakes are delicious and adding lightness in automobile construction is awesome. Also, since the year was 2007 and the Lambo wasn’t a Superleggera , (taking into consideration it might be a 2003-2007 model year) it must have been running the 5.0 V-10 and not the 5.2 V-10 which meant at best it was pushing out 513HP and worst case 493HP.

Walking up to the car I see the door open with the driver inside, texting. I was hoping to engage in some car talk with a fellow auto enthusiast, share some stories and then part ways. See, I am of the belief that all car enthusiasts are made equal and that it doesn’t matter whether you drive a raging Reventon or a Reliant Robin. One can respect each other’s tastes and opinions in cars, much the same way we can respect tastes and opinions in music that differ from our own. Back to the main subject. Here’s how it went down:

Me: Very nice Gallardo!
As Of Yet Unnamed Type Of Auto Enthusiast: Thanks.

Me: The V-10 must sound like a dream.
As Of Yet Unnamed Type Of Auto Enthusiast: It’s not a V-10 it’s a V-12.

Me: …..
As Of Yet Unnamed Type Of Auto Enthusiast: …..

Now, how many of you are feeling that “irked” sensation that I was talking about earlier? The one where you sense that the force has been disturbed and that somewhere in Sant’Agata Bolognese Italy the spirit of Ferruccio is screaming “No, no, no! Perché? Questo non è possibile!”

I know that there are individuals out there than can afford to purchase supercars knowing little to nothing about them. This driver however, I’m sure, knew the difference between what engine his Gallardo had and the engine that the Murcielago comes with. I’ve talked with people who genuinely had no idea of the numbers, figures or performance their cars were capable of. They bought them because they were pretty, expensive and hot and when asked about particulars they will honestly reply with “No idea, but it screams like thunder and goes like a jet when I mash the gas pedal.” I respect honesty.

However, just so I’m perfectly clear, what I just described above does NOT apply to everyone who owns a supercar. I have many friends and have spoken with many owners of high performance vehicles who are some of the most knowledgeable car people on earth.

So now, we are left with the following question: Why do people blatantly feel the need to be dishonest with their cars? Why do people feel the need to re-badge their vehicles and slap on ///M badges and AMG stickers?

It’s now your time to share your poser stories and perhaps your theories on why it is that posers do what they do. And while you’re at it, come up with a designation for the As Of Yet Unnamed Type Of Auto Enthusiast that I described above!

Until next time,
Happy Motoring!

  • Manny Antunes

    Loved it James!

    • http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=100002098835499 James Bachici

      Thanks Manny! It’s been bothering me for years :)

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  • http://profiles.google.com/tonedeft Tony Townsend

    Definitely agree on that. I’ve got a debadged E36 325is myself and even though in it’s current setup, it does look quite a bit like an M3, there’s no way any ///M badges are going anywhere on that car. If it wasn’t an M3 out of the factory, it isn’t an M3.

    • http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=100002098835499 James Bachici

      Thanks for reading and posting Tony. Like you said, if it didn’t come out of the factory “born” an M3, then it will never be an M3. Some people believe that since their modded cars are faster than their ///M brothers it deserves the badge. It doesn’t.

  • http://www.facebook.com/vtapong Vic Tapong

    I have 328i M sports package and it has M badge on steering wheel and by the door. Does it make me a M poser?

    • Erik Hansen

      no, you bought a package (a very good package) that bmw endorses and manufactures. a poser is one who adds performance badges themselves. 

    • http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=100002098835499 James Bachici

      No it doesn’t. I myself have replaced my steering wheel with an ///M model on my 01 330i as well as CSL wheels. It still says 330i on the back though :)

      As Erik Hansen points out, purchasing packages for your car that the company offers is perfectly fine.

      • InternetPoliceChief

        As long as the 328 remains on the tail with no ///M next to it, you are pose free. Also, a Batman symbol in lieu of the Roundel does not make you Batman. Not that you claimed to be, but that’s another one that bothers me.

  • Jp

    Amusingly I did this the other way round.  I owned a 1997 M3 Evo 321bhp.  I removed the badges and added 316i badges :)

    Was fun at Brands Hatch race track surprising a few people!  It was a saloon also, so made it look more believable.  :)  Oh.. and it had nitrous too..   hehe

  • Jp

    Amusingly I did this the other way round.  I owned a 1997 M3 Evo 321bhp.  I removed the badges and added 316i badges :)

    Was fun at Brands Hatch race track surprising a few people!  It was a saloon also, so made it look more believable.  :)  Oh.. and it had nitrous too..   hehe

    • http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=100002098835499 James Bachici

      I don’t even know what to say to that! Sounds like you left a lot of people scratching their heads :)

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  • http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=1293096462 Ramon Juarez

    I saw recently a 2000 Toyota MR2 with Ferrari STICKERS! Instead of the Toyota badge it had Ferrari stickers. And a friend of mine (who doesn’t know ANYTHING ’bout cars) said: LOOK A FERRARI! I turn my head and see that pathetic vehicle parked as a moron. Sad but true. 

  • Howie_in_AZ

    There is a guy that I occasionally see on my commute with an E46 sedan that has an ‘M3′ badge on the back.  I hope it’s actually a 330i ZHP but have the sinking feeling it’s really a 325i.  I don’t understand this at all: the only people who would know the difference between a 325i and an M3 are car people — the same people that know how to spot the sometimes subtle differences between a 325i and an M3.  Mere mortal non-car people won’t know (or care) about the badge on the back, so why fake the badge anyway?  The only people you’re “fooling” are the people that know you’re not in what you claim to be in.

    Anyway, I pulled up next to him one day in my actual M3 and motioned for him to roll down the window.  He took off the opposite direction.

    • http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=100002098835499 James Bachici

      Haha! He saw it coming!

      I agree with you 100% Howie. Posers are only fooling themselves since non-car people don’t know (and don’t care) while car people can spot the difference. So really, what’s the benefit?

  • Erik Hansen

    i don’t understand why people do that. it’s stupid. especially the ones that don’t make sense like the “m545i” one shown above. like the car you have. and you can’t really go wrong with any bmw even if it is a base engine. and you’ll really look stupid when someone asks for a hell ride or a race.

  • Merlosso

    Just yesterday I saw an ///M6 badge right underneath the factory “330i” badge on an E46. Tried to get a picture but he turned. To make it even worse (if that’s possible), it was on crooked.

    • http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=100002098835499 James Bachici

      Wow, that’s like an executive first class poser! To badge out of your Series is something I have yet to see! 325i to M3, seen it. 530i to M5, check…but NEVER have I seen someone but a 6er badge on a 3er! A picture would have been priceless :)

      • Chris P. Bacon

        Not trying to get racial in here, but the worst offenders I see are of Latino descent. I saw an M badge on a busted up Civic’s trunk. I nearly lost my mind! It had M style fender vents that appeared to have been cut in using a pen knife then scotch taped and painted with a sharpie….with M badges in the vents. The trunk also had an upside down Acura badge and a Roundel poorly fitted to the hood. The ‘body kit’ also appeared to be taped/elmers glued on. Did I mention every panel was a different color and were rusted and or dented?

  • X5SoB

    This is kind of article that would have generated much commentary in the old blog format, the sheer lack of response shows just how much DISQUS has eroded BMWBlog’s fan base. I was even willing to put up with viper in the previous format, this new set up sucks so bad that even he went away. It’s truly sad, I rarely feel the urge to post anymore.

    • http://www.bmwblog.com Horatiu B.

      Why? Cause it’s more open? Cause we wanna control trolls and spam?

      • http://twitter.com/GiangcK Truong Giang

        control trolls and spam? then what do you rate Babken and oemcargps?

        • http://www.bmwblog.com Horatiu B.

          Their comments have been deleted. Or most of them.

  • Slimzy

    haha this made me laugh…reminds me of a story from a while ago when i had my WV golf gti which at the time i had recently debadged …i pulled up to a petrol station where another gti owner was feuling up…as i got out he asked me what i was driving and i replied that it was a wolfsburg edition…he lookd at me blankly and asked what it was….as i explained the conversation moved over to his car and was told eventually that it was a gti replica…disgusted by this i headed to the boot and handed him the bagdes that i had removed from my car

    • Alex

      priceless :)))

      • Slimzy

        had to be done in my opinion if you dont own a proper car y destroy a name or brand

  • Carlos

    A friend drove into a gas station and saw an E class parked in the wash bay with the front hood up. Rear badge shows E320. Went around the front and peek into the engine bay with the owner standing near by, then told the owner ” I didn’t know merc made 4 pot 320!” 

  • http://www.facebook.com/akarkar Alexander Karkar

    I cannot stand people who put an M badge on their Bimmers. It’s a disgrace to the M division. A disgrace to the BMW you’re driving. Putting an M badge on a regular BMW is like spray painting a black bear white so that you can call it a polar bear.

    • Oloff

      Can’t agree more. If you can’t afford a m don’t ruin the name/brand

  • http://twitter.com/GiangcK Truong Giang

    I even saw a 318i with W/// badge =.=

  • the.king

    It’s a v18!!!

  • Alex

    ahhhh good old Romania, where every e36 316, 318 and 320 has M3 badges. stupid aftermarket bumpers and gastly chrome tail lights. You should not be surprised by the answer, having lived in Timisoara for 5 years I came to understand that even though you have a nice exotic(or any fast/sporty car) doesn’t mean you have any idea about it, especially if they are bought second hand. Met a guy with an R8 who told me he had it supercharged, when I asked him to show it to me, he popped the “hood” and told me it’s somewhere in there, under the valve cover. When I told him that it’s not supercharged, and asked him who told him that, he said that the previous owner had it modified, and that’s impossible not to be supercharged,cuz it’s so damn fast.

    • http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=100002098835499 James Bachici

      Thanks for reading and sharing Alex! That sounds like another guy I recently met in Romania this past summer. He proceeded to tell me how he purchased a second hand X5 and how the previous owner told him it would do 0-100 km/h in 3 seconds…I had to let him know he was duped.

  • Catalin357

    if I’ll buy a M3 , I’ll put a badge of a 320i ? how’s that called ?:)

    • giulia86

      It’s called lying.

    • Carlos

      not lying, just deception!

      or just a fishing technique with a 320 bait….

  • Rolf

    haha i see it pretty often here, especially Russians like to do this (put M badge on 524td or something). I hate it, first thing I’d remove on such car. One of my friends though put 525tds badge to a 540i/6.
    Why? Smokes like a diesel and doesn’t move anywhere (if you know what I mean).

  • kalmankacso

    Cousin had a 325tds with M badge on it, M spoiler, some aftermarket bumpers and side skirts. lots of people thought it was an M3 until they heard it was a diesel lol.
    Also I’ve seen 530d E60 that looked like an M5.

    • Derobbie

      When I was at the BMW garage, I spotted an ‘M5′ that had all M-symptoms. Even the small grids on the sides. What tipped me off, however: brake discs.

      These are my main point of reference. I asked one of the mechanics and the car turned out to be a 525d and the owner had managed to get hold of original M body parts. (which is still a feat in itself)

      But the story turns uglier. 2 weeks after receiving my (badgeless) 550i, I was refueling it (which I have to do quite often with respect to my prior 535d)

      A guy in a Maserati Quattroporte pulled up to refuel and started talking about cars. And he proudly showed me his latest purchase: an M5! But with license plates that I had seen before.

      Some people are pathetic. If you can’t afford one, just accept it. No one will think any less of you.

  • Wangta

    I have an E90 M3, but as an M enthusiast, I put an M badge on my Vespa scooter.  Am I still a poser? ;)

    • http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=100002098835499 James Bachici

      I’m gonna have to go with “passionately creative” :)

  • Wangta

    I have an E90 M3, but as an M enthusiast, I put an M badge on my Vespa scooter.  Am I still a poser? ;)

  • Kevin

    Online you can find a guy in florida that turned a 2002 mercury cougar into a Bugatti Veyron… well the body that is. looks identical but still has the 1.9L one hundred something horsepower of the cougar but looks identical to a Veyron. Very upsetting… CheapER, but upsetting

  • Kevin

    Online you can find a guy in florida that turned a 2002 mercury cougar into a Bugatti Veyron… well the body that is. looks identical but still has the 1.9L one hundred something horsepower of the cougar but looks identical to a Veyron. Very upsetting… CheapER, but upsetting

  • S85 V10

    Generally considered wrong to re-badge car to what it is not.. makes me cringe.. matter of fact i go the other way.. I always de-badge all the M cars i have owned side vents included.. I like understated looks but i know im not fooling anyone with dual exhaust.. when i have seen some wonder IF im a poser.. i usually downshift and take it to high RPMs so there is no mistaking the S85 V10 and i usually get thumbs up..

    If the tardy badge placement does not give the poser away the engine will for sure…

  • S85 V10

    Generally considered wrong to re-badge car to what it is not.. makes me cringe.. matter of fact i go the other way.. I always de-badge all the M cars i have owned side vents included.. I like understated looks but i know im not fooling anyone with dual exhaust.. when i have seen some wonder IF im a poser.. i usually downshift and take it to high RPMs so there is no mistaking the S85 V10 and i usually get thumbs up..

    If the tardy badge placement does not give the poser away the engine will for sure…

  • S85 V10

    Generally considered wrong to re-badge car to what it is not.. makes me cringe.. matter of fact i go the other way.. I always de-badge all the M cars i have owned side vents included.. I like understated looks but i know im not fooling anyone with dual exhaust.. when i have seen some wonder IF im a poser.. i usually downshift and take it to high RPMs so there is no mistaking the S85 V10 and i usually get thumbs up..

    If the tardy badge placement does not give the poser away the engine will for sure…

  • Sajan

    When I come to sell my 316ti compact I will take the 316ti badge off and then hopefully one day (or another lifetime) when I can afford an e60 m5 I will take the m5 badge off and get a ‘5’ badge and then stick the 16i next to it. I’m sure that’ll make BMW fans look twice! ‘516i’ imagine seeing that! Everybody knows there’s no such thing but imagine seeing a genuine M5 with four angry exhausts coming out the back with a ‘516i’ badge. That’d be amazing 

  • Sajan

    When I come to sell my 316ti compact I will take the 316ti badge off and then hopefully one day (or another lifetime) when I can afford an e60 m5 I will take the m5 badge off and get a ‘5’ badge and then stick the 16i next to it. I’m sure that’ll make BMW fans look twice! ‘516i’ imagine seeing that! Everybody knows there’s no such thing but imagine seeing a genuine M5 with four angry exhausts coming out the back with a ‘516i’ badge. That’d be amazing 

  • Sajan

    When I come to sell my 316ti compact I will take the 316ti badge off and then hopefully one day (or another lifetime) when I can afford an e60 m5 I will take the m5 badge off and get a ‘5’ badge and then stick the 16i next to it. I’m sure that’ll make BMW fans look twice! ‘516i’ imagine seeing that! Everybody knows there’s no such thing but imagine seeing a genuine M5 with four angry exhausts coming out the back with a ‘516i’ badge. That’d be amazing 

  • Jp02ti

    This issue is older than M cars!  I have a 1969 BMW 202ti, which was the “hot” 2002 of the day.  I’ve seen so many 2002s badged as “ti” and it makes me really annoyed, since the real factory “ti” version is now very rare, and also easily spied.  very annoying!

    • http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=100002098835499 James Bachici

      Indeed! I suppose we can write an entire article just on the hunt for the first poser then :)

  • Viper

    what

  • subtotal

    I have an M wheel and shift knob inside, but have no other part of M packet in the car. I’ve bought the car like this.
    I’ve put a Hamann badge over the 525d factory sticker. I think no enthusiast would think that my Touring really has a Hamann tuning, and I do not care what the others think. It looks good and a nice gag.

    Am I a poser? 

    • rone30

      yes it does but not because you have the wheel & shifter, because you put a hamann sticker for no reason. a bmw looks good, a sticker wont make it go faster or look better.

      • subtotal

        The reason I’ve put it that it looks good above the 525d badge. I did not replace the factory badge just put it right above.
        You’re right it will not be faster.
        I would be a poser if I want to impress others with this. This case putting nice alloys to a car makes someone a poser?
        Anyway, do you beleive that a sticker could impress anyone?

  • Al Bundy

    Glad I’m not the only one that feels this way. I’ve never understood it. I am a Porsche/BMW guy and when I see a GT3 RS badge or M badge on a car that clearly isn’t that, I can only wonder what went through their brains. I could see adding a badge to a complete POS as a joke, but the people that would be impressed by such a badge would be the ones to know you are full of s—.

  • MA

    I think its okay to make a car look better but if only they keep the original badge. like E350 AMG is fine. or that 545 M is fine! 

    even merc does it when they put the amg package. they dont drop the “0” however. here are some examples: 
    http://www.flickr.com/photos/wahmana/4436456324/
    http://bey3.com/zahle/cars-vehicles-cars-for-sale/clk500-amg-styling-w209-xenon-for-more-infor-wwwmobile-lbcom-2/

    but the first pic or those who try to say its AMG engine or M engine is messed up. lool 

    • 909

      I seen a Hyundai veloster with a m3 badge on the highway I was laughing to myself pretty good on that one

  • Anonymous

    This driver however, I’m sure, knew the difference between what engine his Gallardo had and the engine that the Murcielago comes with. I’ve talked with people who genuinely had no idea of the numbers, figures or performance their cars were capable of. 
     cheap auto insurance in California

  • 7Burgen

    I saw a 325i with red (insted of blue) and white roundels.Thought of it as more of a conversation piece than an attempt to pose. I know BMW used to produce cars in Eisenacher. Those cars had a red and white roundel. After the war the factory made Wartburgs instead :-(

    Is this red and white roundel some historical artifact or just a fashion thing?

    Andrei

  • Mose121

    Why do they do it, well because their posers, duh!!!  If you want to put an ///M badge on the trunk of a non-///M car, go right ahead.  Just don’t get all pissy when I tell you how dumb you appear to me and everyone else that knows what the car really is.  Then think about how much dumber you’ll look when the people that do know tell the people that don’t know, and then they tell you how dumb you are.  Boy you are dumb.

  • http://iambetterthanyou.org/ Blub

    poser here -> iambetterthanyou.org

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  • http://twitter.com/GTAVNut GTA-V-Nut

    I guy in my neighborhood owns a light blue 2004 BMW 328i, and it’s badged as an M3. it’s just hilarious. One time I was walking to wal-mart and passed a last generation S class, an S550, and it had AMG to the right of the trunk. It was so stupid, lol.

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  • Wade Foraker

    You know what else drives me nuts? Someone calling an E60 an E39! Seriously? I mean unless someone essentially reshaped an E39 body using bondo (or styrofoam), that is the rear end of an E60!

    • http://www.bmwblog.com Horatiu B.

      The text was not directly related to the photo. Clearly that’s an E60.

  • Piotr

    I had a e39 535i when bought it had an M badge on the trunk that did not last a second :) after some time I bought a 520i badge :)

  • Stuart Shone

    in the eighties i had a holden premier with 4.2 badges on it it had an external front sun visor and was at standard ride height but under the bonnet was a 427 chev not quite standard, the only thing that gave it away a little was the exhaust note , but i had so much fun in it, people would always check out the badges and then try to embarrass me, didn’t work to often.

  • Jk

    So it was a fake Lamborghini!?

  • João Resende

    I really thought this would end eith the Gallardo benigna replica.
    But I can really relate eith your story and, I guess, it’s a worldwide thing .

    • http://www.bmwblog.com Horatiu B.

      It really is. We see it a lot all over

  • ddunks12

    Don’t mean to be that guy, but if the beginning of the article is referring to the picture shown that would be an e60 528i, not a e39. E39s look like this:

    • ddunks12

      I’ll try posting this image again:

      • ddunks12

        And still didn’t work, but nothless, good article, just bugs me that it says e39 when a e60 is clearly being shown

    • http://www.bmwblog.com Horatiu B.

      We know. The text wasnt refering to the image.

      • ddunks12

        Okay good lol

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