Recasting Game of Thrones with BMWs

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This coming Sunday marks the very last episode of Game of Thrones. It’s going to be a bit weird on Monday when the show is …

This coming Sunday marks the very last episode of Game of Thrones. It’s going to be a bit weird on Monday when the show is finally over. It’s been on for eight years and has been an international sensation ever since. As a GoT fan, it’s been fun, as after every episode the internet and social media explode, making it seem as if we’re all part of a global discussion. Especially this past season.

So with the massively popular show coming to an end, we thought we’d celebrate a bit. The only way we figured we could celebrate is to recast Game of Thrones using BMWs. (If you haven’t seen Season 8 — Beware of Spoilers)

Daenarys Targaryen– E46 BMW M3 CSL

We have to start with the show’s most famous and polarizing character. Daenarys Targaryen has essentially been the show’s main character since the second season. Ever since, she’s been a cultural icon, inspiring people to even name their children after one of her seemingly hundreds of names — Khaleesi. But she’s also been one of the most polarizing characters of the show, thanks to her ability to both inspire and frighten. In this current season, she’s done far more of the latter and has become a bit of a Mad Queen.

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Which is why we felt the E46 BMW M3 CSL would be perfect for her. It’s both incredibly lovable but also violently terrifying if messed with. The E46 M3 CSL is one of the finest driving weapons on the planet, just like Daenarys on her dragon. However, much like Daenarys, if you don’t treat it with respect, it will bite you. Hard.

Jon Snow — BMW 3 Series

One of the most famous lines in the entire show criticizes Jon Snow for knowing nothing. Well, he certainly knows one thing and it’s how to make people love him. It seems like everywhere Jon Snow goes, people gravitate towards him. They follow him. Just like the 3 Series.

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The BMW 3 Series is easily one of the most loved cars on the market. It sells in simply insane numbers and has been BMW’s most successful car ever since its inception. Also like Jon Snow, the 3 Series is dependable, reliable and extremely capable. Just like Jon Snow is a master swordsman, the 3 Series is a master sport sedan.

Sansa Stark– BMW 1 Series M Coupe

Sansa Stark may not have had the best start. She was sort of a brat as a child and was often overlooked among her other siblings who were all more accomplished. However, as Sansa grew older, she gained a ton of experience (unfortunately, through painful and traumatic experiences) and proved that she’s  a far better survivor than anyone ever gave her credit for. While Jon Snow and Daenarys are fan favorites, Sansa is quickly becoming one of my personal favorite characters in the show and could be a key piece to the finale.

When the BMW 1 Series M Coupe was first introduced, it wasn’t given much credit. Prior to people actually driving it, the little 1M was dismissed by a large portion of the enthusiast fanbase. It was the first M car to be turbocharged, the first to use a non-M-specific engine and it was made largely from leftover M parts. However, once enthusiasts actually drove it, they realized it wasn’t messing around. In fact, the BMW 1 Series M is still considered to be one of the very best M cars to have ever been made. But it was seriously overlooked until it proved itself. Much like Sansa.

Tyrion Lannister — BMW i8

For a long time, there was never a more clever man in all of Westeros than Tyrion. His size would often lead people to dismiss him but that would only lead them to their inevitable doom. While Tyrion might not have the size, strength or fighting capability that his enemies have, he’s always managed to stay ahead of the game and gain high-ranking status thanks to his clever wit and fantastic sense of humor. He’s also still around, to the very last episode at least, while all of his doubters are dead.

Sort of like the BMW i8. It’s not the most powerful car in its price point, nor the fastest, nor the newest and it’s certainly not the best handling. However, the i8 charms like few other cars on the planet simply because it looks hilariously futuristic and just makes people smile. But also because it’s incredibly clever. Its carbon fiber construction and hybrid powertrain make it the thinking-man’s supercar. So while the i8 might not be the best supercar on the market, objectively speaking, it does alright for itself and is still here, despite its detractors, and it’s done so by being clever and charming. Just like Tyrion.

Cersei Lannister — BMW M5 Competition

Of all of George R. R. Martin’s famous Game of Thrones characters, Cersei might be the most interesting. In some ways, she’s absolutely vile and loathsome. But in others, she’s charming and has been able to gain our sympathy as an audience. Maybe that’s more of Lena Headey being an incredible actress and wonderfully charming herself. Either way, there have been points throughout the show’s several seasons where we’ve hated/feared her and even liked her, felt for her.

That sort of duality is only replicated in the BMW M5 Competition. Never before has the Bavarian brand had a car so capable of luxury, comfort and ease of use while also being so violent and almost terrifying. The M5 Competition is a true Jekyll and Hyde machine, with the ability to be an everyday luxury car one minute and a fire-breathing monster the next. It’s faster than some supercars, more brutal than any muscle car and as scalpel sharp as almost any M car before it, yet can also switch off and be completely luxurious around town. Only the BMW M5 Competition can do that in our world and only Cersei can do that in Game of Thrones.

Jamie Lannister — F10 BMW M5

If his sister Cersei is the character with the most duality, Jamie Lannister is the character that’s changed the most from the show’s start to finish. At the beginning of the show, he was an arrogant, obnoxious monster, willing to do anything for power. However, by the end of the show, his story arc changed dramatically. He became an (semi) honest man that fought to do the right thing more often than not. More importantly, though, he was always handsome, charming and incredibly skilled with a sword.

When the F10-generation BMW M5 first debuted, it was considered sacrilegious due to its turbocharged engine, as it was the first M5 in history to sport forced induction. It was criticized for prioritizing power over feel and proper driving thrills. However, now that turbocharging is the norm among M cars, we can look back at the F10 M5 and appreciate its skill and performance. So, like Jamie Lannister, it’s story ended in a bit of redemption. It’s also still good looking and very impressive.

Arya Stark — BMW Z3 M Coupe

In the past couple of seasons, Arya Stark went from being a side character to one of the most beloved. In this most recent season, there’s no question — she’s the real MVP. She’s a a fearsome fighter and a supremely capable survivor but goes completely under the radar. I guess that’s the point of becoming no one. Everyone around her takes her size and youth at face value, completely underestimating her. Yet she can take on anyone, even the very best in all of Westeros, and is likely to come out victorious.

So the only car worthy of being cast as Ayra Stark in BMW’s history is the BMW Z3 M Coupe. It’s small, unassuming and never taken seriously. However, it’s a little firecracker of a car that’s one of the absolute finest driving machines of its time. Few cars can match its combination of performance, capability and fun, even today. It might not look like a proper sports car, with its funky styling and tiny size, but it absolutely is one and one of BMW’s best. Small but feisty, just like Arya Stark.

This Sunday is going to be a bittersweet one for Game of Thrones fans. On one hand, we get to see the conclusion of an incredibly long story and see who finally sits on the Iron Throne. However, on the other hand, it’s the last episode and our journey is coming to an end. Hopefully, the last episode is a great one and a finale we won’t soon forget. Though, as we’ve been warned before in the show, don’t expect a happy ending. Never a happy ending in Game of Thrones.

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