Recently, Car and Driver gave the BMW 540i a pretty rough review. They touched on its high points (superb cabin, sublime engine and impressive performance), but felt that it lagged behind in the handling department. Fair enough. So when we saw that C&D drove the new BMW M760i xDrive, an incredibly expensive, V12-powered 7 Series, we thought it would be treated roughly as well. As it turns out, though, a V12 is the cure for any poor relationship.

Underneath the hood of the M760i is a 6.6 liter twin-turbocharged V12 that makes 601 hp and 590 lb-ft of torque. That mighty ’12 is paired to an eight-speed ZF automatic and powers all four wheels, via xDrive all-wheel drive. That allows the big 7 Series to get from 0-60 mph in just 3.5 seconds and on to 100 mph in 7.9 seconds. When I was a kid, those sorts of numbers were reserved for the Lamborghini Murcielago. What’s even crazier is the BMW M760i’s standing quarter-mile time of 11.7 seconds. By comparison, a 707 hp Dodge Challenger Hellcat runs the quarter in 11.7. So the M760i matches the Hellcat in the quarter-mile while having four doors, seating for four adults, more luxury than a private jet and carrying 5,100 lbs. Which is more impressive?

But apparently, the BMW M760i isn’t just good at straight line speed. When pushed through the twisties, the Big 7 can actually hustle. In Sport mode, the suspension stiffens up, body roll is surprisingly kept in check and the steering is relatively accurate for such a big luxury car. The steering is obviously numb and a bit goopy, but it is a luxury car after all, so it’s really good for what it is. Though, C&D claims that the M760i isn’t actually as fun or as fast as its ALPINA sibling, but then again, the B7 is usually more tuned by the specialists in Buchloe.

The biggest knock C&D had for the M760i, though, is the pumped in engine noise, which is admittedly annoying. We’d all just rather the car be really quiet or let us hear real engine noise, especially buttery, growly V12 noise. The speaker stuff is just cheesy.

At $156,495, the BMW M760i xDrive is not a cheap car. In fact, it’s actually the most expensive BMW on sale at the moment, even more so than the ALPINA B7. However, it undercuts the Mercedes-AMG S65 and especially the Rolls Royce Ghost, which actually shares the same engine. So if you’re looking for a massively luxurious V12 sedan, the BMW M760i is actually the bargain choice, if such a thing can be said.

C&D has recently cooled on BMW, upset with the brand’s departure from what it used to be. Hard to blame them, really, as the 3 Series won about a million C&D tests over the years, so there are fond memories there that are being let down. With how expensive, high-tech and over-the-top the M760i is, we thought it would get a harsh review as well. Apparently, V12s are good relationship bandaids.

[Source: Car and Driver]