Back in April of 2012, BMW decided to play a little April Fools joke on everyone by announcing an M3 pickup truck, based on the E92 M3 Convertible. Many folks were excited, many were repulsed and many sniffed out BMW’s prank from the get go.
As silly as such a car would be, it would actually be kind of fun and practical. The Aussie’s have been making Sport Utes like this for quite a while, such as the Holden Commodore and Ford Falcon Utes. Basically, the idea is to stuff a big engine into a rear-wheel drive sedan (or saloon, if you live down under) and then slap a pickup bed on the back. This makes for a car that can not only be a fun, powerful sports car, but one that can haul bails of hay, or some chickens, as well.
Now of course it would be completely ridiculous if BMW had made one of these, it’s just not in keeping with their brand image. The Ford and Holden are great, but leave it to them (just Holden now, actually, as Ford has gone bust down there). The M3 Ute is a fun idea but not a realistic one. But what if BMW were to do it, what if they said “Damn the torpedoes!” and just made one anyway?
Well, it wouldn’t have much of a market. Almost zero BMW drivers would be interested in something like that. Maybe a select few who like the quirky, weird cars that BMW make, but not many at all. However, it would be good for someone who lives on or around a lot of farmland. This way they could have their cake (sports car) and eat it, too (pickup). Not a bad way to convince the wife into allowing a sports car in the family. But ultimately, it just wouldn’t make enough sense.
I do think it would be great to see some levity from the typically stern Germans, though. A modern day M3 with a pickup bed would be one of the great automotive unicorns. “Oh you have a Cadillac CTS-V Wagon with a manual? That’s too mainstream for my M3 Ute.” There would be something truly special about a car that could dominate a race track yet still haul a Home Depot trip home and have the luxuries of a BMW inside.
What a fun world it would be had BMW actually put that into production. There isn’t a place for it in the real world, but that’s a world I want to love in.
So we have to pose the question: Would you buy a BMW pickup?