The Top Seven Types of Car Guys

Interesting | May 11th, 2009 by 11

It took me a while to decide if I should post this top on here or …not, mostly because I didn’t want anyone to get …

It took me a while to decide if I should post this top on here or …not, mostly because I didn’t want anyone to get offended, but after re-reading the content over and over again, I realized that it’s all fun and really, NO ONE should be offended by it. In the end, there is really nothing offensive, other than some stereotypes that I hope we can see past them.

So, the fellows at came up with an …interesting subject: The Top S even Types of Car Guys. We won’t be posting the entire top on here, we still want them to take the full credit, so we’ll start with….Number 1:

1. BMW Guy

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Source: JOERG KOCH/Staff/Getty Images

The most enjoyable activity for BMW Car Guy is convincing everyone else that BMW makes the best cars in the world. There can be no other car better than a BMW M3. It is simply perfection. The BMW guy offers a level of pretense which can sometimes rival Exotic Car Guy, but at a much cheaper impact on his bank account (which also makes him better than the Exotic Car Guy).

BMW Car Guy is a refined sophisticate, and he has ascended beyond the juvenile need to do burnouts. BMW Car Guy is more concerned with car magazine statistics, expensive aftermarket wheels, nanotechnology car wax, and the latest watches in GQ magazine.  BMW Car Guy would also ask that you ignore the slightly tacky carbon fiber roof on his ubercar. ‘Course, BMW guy also has the obligatory hot Asian girlfriend, so he scores a tip ‘o the hat regardless.

And continuing with Number 2:

2. Exotic Car Guy

Not satisfied by mere Vipers or Carreras, the Exotic Car Guy is less concerned with performance of the car than he is about, say, how rare it is, and how people will react to it. In that regard, the Exotic Guy is the epitome of the car guy who wants something that screams “this way, gold diggers!” Unless Exotic Car Guy is hitting Willow Springs every weekend, there’s no purpose for this car in an urban setting, other than to be a status symbol for what a fabulous lifestyle he leads. And when Exotic Car Guy drops $45,000 on an oil change, you know he must be pretty cool.

You can see the silly, funny top over at, but before you head over there, let me touch a few points: Yes, I do believe the M3 is the Creme de la Creme, and nothing tops it. Yup, we love stats, we breath them, same goes for aftermarket wheels, the more the better. Car waxing is our part time job and the number one reason why our significant others divorce us. Carbon Fiber is to us what platinum and white gold for our lovely female companions.

Are we proud of it? Sure, but we grow out of it at one point, it comes with the age :)

P.S. Read this article with a smile on your face, that’s all the purpose of it.

11 responses to “The Top Seven Types of Car Guys”

  1. says:

    Realy so! Inerest Post!

  2. adood84 says:

    the articel says top seven, but only two are listed ?

  3. okeribok says:

    e46 m3 csl ftw!

  4. Horatiu B. says:

    @adood84: We wanted to give Spike the opportunity to show the others since they wrote the article….common courtesy, respect and most important, the right thing to do :)

  5. Matski says:

    Nope, if I had a Carbon Fibre roof I’d damn well point to it an make everyone kneel before it’s lightweight CoG lowering awesomness — not ignore it! I also hate aftermarket wheels, I do buy GQ (or watches) and I don’t have a hot asian girlfriend!

    .. but amusing article anyway,

  6. @Horatiu B.: To be honest Horatiu I didn’t know that this was from another website, you should add a read more link at the end lol

  7. Horatiu B. says:

    @Mohammed AlMomen: I thought I did, I apologize. I only put a link where it says

    I’ll make it more evident

  8. bunker says:

    so true. so true.

  9. Marc says:

    We grow out of it!!!!???? Oh noooooooooooooooooo…..then what would I do with my free time?!

  10. Alex says:

    I don’t even own a BMW anymore (used to own an E38, loved it to death) and I still tell everyone that they’re the best cars ever made. Although I never outgrew the need to do burnouts, nor have a CF roof, nor read any magazines or have a hot Asian girlfriend.

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