Where do I sign up, eh?

Any ideas Guys

Only problem is, though, that I’d have to always wear hockey jerseys under my dress shirts and those things are just too damn expensive to use as undershirts. Oh, and I’d have to say “Aboot” and “Eh” all the time. Just don’t know if I’m ready to make that kind of commitment in order to remain plastered at work.

Just hide it in cough syrup bottles or a Nyquil bottle and sip out of that all day…that’s what I do and it seems to work?

Woot!

Now the question is, should I have you send them to my house or to my work??? I’m sure I’d catch a few raised eyebrows from the boss if a package full of Jack arrived at the door, but at least this way I could leave a couple bottles of them on the desk.

If a customer asks why I have enough booze on my desk to get an Irishman trashed, I can always respond with “Because this is the only thing that gets me through having to explain what a Cyclone Seperator is to 41 people a day, and having to explain it at least four times to no less than 39 of those people.”

I’ll mail you some of those minibar Jack Daniels bottles.

“But I just bought new belts 15 months ago. Don’t you guys have a one-year warranty?”

“Yes sir, it covers your belts for a year.”

“And they’re cracked after 15 months. Can you take that into consideration?”

“I’ve considered it, sir, and came to the conclusion that 15 months is indeed more than 12.”

Alright – look I do a lot of drinking at the office first thing in the morning. I was 3 Jack & Cokes deep already at 10:30AM so I can’t be held responsible for accidentally quoting myself – that’s Jack talking…not Gragop. GEEZ, Can’t I be a raging alcoholic AND blog?

And yes, I’m very badass…and I’ll knee you in the face with said knee pads.

So, what is this Gragop? You think you’re important enough to quote yourself now or what? I didn’t realize I was e-talking to someone that awesome. You have to give me a heads up on these things so I know to grovel at your self-quoting feet.

(I’m wearing a decent pair of slacks today, so do you mind if I borrow your kevlar knee pads so I don’t scuff up my pants while I bow to your badassedness?)

I heard the PAS will be featured at Burning Man this year…just sayin…

hahaha I needed that first thing this morning.

Does that mean it’s going to disappear in the middle of the night to camp out at a hippie rally? If I drive past someone wearing a fur coat, will it throw red paint on them? Does it include a boat feature so it can float off into the Arctic Circle to protect the Two Eyed Yellow Breasted Snow Seal? I know, personally, I’d be pretty pissed off if my “PAS” vanishes one evening to attend a Phish reunion concert…